Understanding and caring babies at all stages

Enjoy the complete baby experience

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As a mom of a 2 yr old girl, I've been through those tough times with questions all my blood cells. If carrying the baby was one hell of a task, caring the baby is not any different. But when you look at that one cute smile of your baby's, the misseries simply become passing clouds. Stay tuned with babnybaby to enjoy the complete baby experience. Good luck to all the mom-to-be's and dad-to-be's out there. -- Kavya

Showing posts with label Baby Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Baby Jokes. Show all posts

Funny Baby Jokes - 2

A little boy was waiting for his mom to pick him up from school.

As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, "Son, can you tell me where the post office is?"

The little boy replied, "Sure, just go straight down the street a couple of blocks and turn to your right."

The man thanked the boy kindly and said, "I'm the new pastor in town, and I'd like for you to come to church on Sunday. I'll show you how to get to Heaven."

The little boy replied with a chuckle, "Awww, come on; you don't even know the way to the post office!"
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Lucy was taking two of her grandsons on their very first train ride ...

A vendor came down the corridor selling Pop Rocks, something neither had ever seen before. Cassie bought each grandson a bag.

The first one eagerly tore open the bag and popped one into his mouth just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his brother and said: "I wouldn't eat that if I were you."

"Why not?" replied the curious brother "I took one bite and went blind for half a minute."
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An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard.
She asked him, "Daddy, what is sex?"

The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer. He proceeded to tell her all about the "birds and the bees."

When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, "Why did you ask this question?"

The little girl replied, "Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs."
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The minister called on a seldom-seen parishoner, asking if she was in good health, and generally enquiring why she rarely attended services.

"Oh," she said, "it's difficult to get out of the house these days, but, reverend, I still keep up my bible study and prayers, don't I darling?" she said, turning to her five-year-old daughter - who looked rather blankly at her.

"Darling," she went on, "Run and fetch mummy's favourite book, there's a good girl."

A few moments later she returned holding out the Sears catalogue.
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A woman invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing, darling?"

"I wouldn't know what to say," she replied.
"Just say what you hear mummy say," she said encouragingly.
The girl bowed her head and said "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
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On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. She was so proud thinking her daughter wants to follow in her footsteps! Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to Wendy's. May I take you order?"

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Funny Baby Jokes - 1

The meeting went on for quite a while, toward the end the junior executive couldn't quite cover up a huge yawn. "Jones, you're never going to get ahead in this company on less than a full night's sleep," snapped the chairman. "You're absolutely right, sir," replied the fellow wearily, "but you try getting that across to my 2 month old baby."
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The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"
The room really got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" replied the teacher. "Is it all right if she carries my golf bag while we walk?"
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A midwife called at our home recently as my wife was about to give birth and I was out doing some shopping..Suddenly there was a power cut and all the lights went out. The midwife,looking somewhat perplexed at not being able to see what was going on, found a torch and asked my three year old to hold it. She told her where to point it and over the next few minutes my wife gave birth to our baby. The midwife wrapped the baby up and asked my daughter what she thought of her new brother. She looked up at the midwife and said casually, "The baby shouldn't've crawled in there and got lost in the first place!"

A child's perspective ?? Oh ! Yes
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A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?". The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain."
"I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks.
"Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..."
"Like this?"
"A little more..."
"Like this?"
"No. A little more...""Like this?"
"Yes. Does that hurt?""A little bit."
"Now stretch it over your head!"
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A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?"
"Well honey..." said the slightly prudish parent, "the stork brought you to us."
"Oh," said the boy.
"Well, how did you and daddy get born?" he asked.
"Oh, the stork brought us too."
"Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" he persisted.
"Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the parent, by now starting to squirm a little in the Lazy Boy recliner.
Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence:"This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."
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At a big cocktail party, an obstetrician's wife noticed another guest, a big, oversexed blonde, was making overtures at her husband. Since it was a large, informal gathering, she tried to laugh it off, until she saw them disappear into a bedroom together.
At once she rushed into the room, pulled the two apart and screamed, "Look, lady! My husband just delivers babies, he doesn't INSTALL them!"

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