Funny Baby Jokes - 1
The meeting went on for quite a while, toward the end the junior executive couldn't quite cover up a huge yawn. "Jones, you're never going to get ahead in this company on less than a full night's sleep," snapped the chairman. "You're absolutely right, sir," replied the fellow wearily, "but you try getting that across to my 2 month old baby."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"
The room really got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" replied the teacher. "Is it all right if she carries my golf bag while we walk?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A midwife called at our home recently as my wife was about to give birth and I was out doing some shopping..Suddenly there was a power cut and all the lights went out. The midwife,looking somewhat perplexed at not being able to see what was going on, found a torch and asked my three year old to hold it. She told her where to point it and over the next few minutes my wife gave birth to our baby. The midwife wrapped the baby up and asked my daughter what she thought of her new brother. She looked up at the midwife and said casually, "The baby shouldn't've crawled in there and got lost in the first place!"
A child's perspective ?? Oh ! Yes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?". The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain."
"I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks.
"Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..."
"Like this?"
"A little more..."
"Like this?"
"No. A little more...""Like this?"
"Yes. Does that hurt?""A little bit."
"Now stretch it over your head!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?"
"Well honey..." said the slightly prudish parent, "the stork brought you to us."
"Oh," said the boy.
"Well, how did you and daddy get born?" he asked.
"Oh, the stork brought us too."
"Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" he persisted.
"Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the parent, by now starting to squirm a little in the Lazy Boy recliner.
Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence:"This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
At a big cocktail party, an obstetrician's wife noticed another guest, a big, oversexed blonde, was making overtures at her husband. Since it was a large, informal gathering, she tried to laugh it off, until she saw them disappear into a bedroom together.
At once she rushed into the room, pulled the two apart and screamed, "Look, lady! My husband just delivers babies, he doesn't INSTALL them!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"
The room really got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" replied the teacher. "Is it all right if she carries my golf bag while we walk?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A midwife called at our home recently as my wife was about to give birth and I was out doing some shopping..Suddenly there was a power cut and all the lights went out. The midwife,looking somewhat perplexed at not being able to see what was going on, found a torch and asked my three year old to hold it. She told her where to point it and over the next few minutes my wife gave birth to our baby. The midwife wrapped the baby up and asked my daughter what she thought of her new brother. She looked up at the midwife and said casually, "The baby shouldn't've crawled in there and got lost in the first place!"
A child's perspective ?? Oh ! Yes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?". The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain."
"I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks.
"Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..."
"Like this?"
"A little more..."
"Like this?"
"No. A little more...""Like this?"
"Yes. Does that hurt?""A little bit."
"Now stretch it over your head!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?"
"Well honey..." said the slightly prudish parent, "the stork brought you to us."
"Oh," said the boy.
"Well, how did you and daddy get born?" he asked.
"Oh, the stork brought us too."
"Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" he persisted.
"Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the parent, by now starting to squirm a little in the Lazy Boy recliner.
Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence:"This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
At a big cocktail party, an obstetrician's wife noticed another guest, a big, oversexed blonde, was making overtures at her husband. Since it was a large, informal gathering, she tried to laugh it off, until she saw them disappear into a bedroom together.
At once she rushed into the room, pulled the two apart and screamed, "Look, lady! My husband just delivers babies, he doesn't INSTALL them!"
Hey Kittu ,jokes were very funny Indeed.Cant stop my self to laugh.
LOL :) Aaha.. kittu maamakku pottiya ithana posta orey naalla.. kalakkunga :)
@g3: (:-) Valluvarodalam namlala potti poda mudiyuma ? freeya irundhen, so postutten.
@Sharda: Thanks !
Maamaku yetha Maamidhan.Avar kural,poem nu dhool kilapuna,neenga jokes pottu asuthureenga.Good ones.LOL!--SKM
Wishing you and your family a very Happy, Prosperous and Successful New Year :-)
@sandai-kozhi: Thanks SKM, wish u a happy 2007 !
@g3 : g3 akka kkum LOL :) engal puthandu vaazhthukal